110046 - New Dilli

i write it through separation anxiety. passed mid-night after running for late blink it orders, and of course, successfully filmed a long movie on existential crisis and oh my dear dilli. my metro stations have changed having a significant impact on my metro card balance. i do not write, i have left reading books, left practising for any of my exams, decided not to make decisions and just exist, feel better off on unfolding departures, sip coffee or end up at a coffee shop just not be at home. i am not aware of water levels in the aquaguard, shirts t-shirts pants have been murdered in water, I let them breathe in an open air. i run, not back to my home. Shoes are to be polished, crease is mandatory and every time i am out it's only most of the time in a westside. i am on a borrowed spotify premium and Telugu search history where Rekha Ji makes sudden entries, i try listening but I'm focused on my metro ride. nuttela brownie is operating on high sugar levels so survival is on classic choco crunch. i am the one locking doors and unlocking, wiping floors to watering my mother’s the only alive plant, skipped dinner decisions and failed swimming class plans. for everyday, I travel gulabi bagh to a guy who otherwise run to rampura phul had found a decent job to meet the ends. i try moving through vishwavidhyalaya, through inner lanes of kamla nagar with all my courage, there is a void that for me dilli has in all corners now, an unsaid silence leaps into my room guarding all the corners that otherwise would echo with voices of a young daughter fighting with her super young mother. 

jaipur, udaipur, late in chittor, aurnganadi musafir to late on the stretches of hingoli, parbani or beed, zostel shillong or the Ganga ghat, already sobbing for the major reshuffling and the lost company. 

I tried talking my heart out