शहर

for the world settling on brand new kaju katli, a box full of motichoor, city turned all bright and it's time we let the winters sneak in. life lately is surviving on udiliv 450 mg some major sugar cuts, blood samples, inflated CBC, and some freaking liver enzymes. some constant spaces of void and thoughts of failing every single day. i try finding joy in this same city, living is tedious, and so is the thought of moving out. how are we supposed to accept this very notion of growing up, the festivals which were once so grand, let it not be friends but least i wasn’t scared of this living. for long i stopped writing, i let it all fall, flow through, with time but there hasn’t been a warmth that let me in. and let me say it again there is tiny pause or altogether a mammoth exercise, seems with changing seasons, turning years and on counting friends its under random lights, loud music, blinkit orders and in choking air, life has settled in. every train, airport departure, leaving buses feels personal, i believe its time to get on and repair the last year leftovers of yellow lights, to rush to the markets and live on some extended leaves. we all are at the fancy store and yet still figuring out the next airport departure, vinay’s diwali abroad and some parcels that didn’t get delivered this diwali. hope we find people in the left over spaces, let there be gentle breeze, warm clothes on and i end up at dwellings,

let everything happen to you, beauty and terror. no feeling is final - rainer maria rilke

(grammar has been left casual, some sentences are intentionally left incomplete)